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Monday, 06 July 2009

  • I have a dilemma.  Well, it may not be as much of a dilemma as wishful thinking, but it is still a difficult decision.  See, my brother is getting married.  11 days before my due date.  In North Carolina.  We were asked if Bethany could be the flower girl and said yes before learning I was pregnant.  I let them know right away that we may not make it, but they don't really have anyone else that would be suitable for flower girl, so I agreed that if we could make it, she could still be the flower girl.  At first, I thought that traveling the 18 hrs over the course of a couple days would be okay, even if I will be ready to pop.  I know that, technically, the baby could arrive as much as 14 days before my due date and still be considered "on time", but I feel about 90% sure that I won't go early, since I have been late by 5 days and 14 days in the two pregnancies where I actually went into labor.  BUT,  since this is my first pregnancy after having a "normal" delivery, and since it is always said that no 2 pregnancies / labors go the same, there is always a chance that this time will be different and I could go into labor early.  I suppose, though, if that were the only concern, I still would be okay making the trip, since there are, I'm sure, any number of hospitals I could deliver at along the way.  Unfortunately, given my previous cesareans, it is possible that there aren't ANY doctors along the way who would let me VBAC.  And while I do want to go to my brother's wedding, I just don't know if the risk, however slight it may be, of having another cesarean just because my doctor is not around, is worth taking.  Of course, my doctor didn't even entertain travel as a possibility when I mentioned it to him.  I would just feel really bad if I missed the wedding and didn't end up giving birth until 2 weeks late.  Any advice?

Thursday, 25 June 2009

  • Sometimes - okay, a lot of times - I just wonder "why?".  On Monday, we were contacted by someone wanting to see the house.  We have sort of been back and forth about putting effort into selling it now, but we figured a showing couldn't hurt, so we scheduled to show the house at 5:30 on Thursday (today).  The problem was that the house was not exactly spic and span, given my exhaustion and nausea of late, so we needed to get things done on Tuesday, Wednesday and this morning, despite my disposition.  Tuesday, I was fairly productive, though much was still left to be done.  Tim spent most of his free time Tuesday cleaning up in the basement, as it had gotten wet over the weekend and he had started the clean-up, but not completed it.  Yesterday (Wednesday), I got my normally scheduled Wednesday chores done in the morning, but got a pounding headache after lunch and couldn't move, except to race to the bathroom, since my stomach decided nothing was staying down once 2pm came...nothing for the rest of the day.  This made any more productivity on my part pretty much impossible.  Tim managed to prepare dinner before rushing off to t-ball practice with Caedmon, then did the dishes for me after the kids were in bed.  I went to bed with my head still pounding, wondering how in the world I would accomplish my rather long to-do list for today.  I woke up, or rather, was awakened at 6am by Nathanael who refused to go back to sleep, and proceeded to throw-up a few times before I finally did convince him to sleep at 7:30 (he had been nodding off intermittently the whole time).  Since I was up, I got laundry folded and put away and some other odds and ends done; myself, Caedmon and Bethany bathed and headed downstairs for breakfast.  Nathanael woke up again around 9:30, seeming to be feeling better, and I still had some semblance of energy and no real nausea or headache issues to speak of.  I managed to pick up the downstairs, vacuum and mop by the time 11am rolled around.  I bathed Nathanael and decided to go to Subway for lunch, so as to avoid lunch messes.  I was feeling like God was having mercy on me.  Like maybe He was working things out for this showing to be successful.  Then I got home to a blinking answering machine.  The person who was scheduled to look at the house called to cancel.  Of course.  Why would I expect anything different?  I don't know...but I did.  I get angry with myself for hoping.  Some might say my hope was misplaced, but honestly, it's hard to find anything to be hopeful about these days, so I figured maybe God was giving us a break, and I hoped....again.  And I got disappointed...again.  I know that this scenario isn't all bad.  I mean, at least I have a clean house now.  That is a relief.  I'm happy that my kitchen floor, which hasn't been scrubbed in probably a month or more, has now been attended to.  Clutter has been organized and junk has been purged.  But was that the only reason for this?  If so, I kind of wish I'd been given the motivation of having family come visit, instead....at least it would have spared me the disappointment.  I'm tired of being in limbo here.  I hope someday this all makes sense.

Thursday, 11 June 2009

  • How is it a voice once so familiar
    has become a distant memory?
    Though even the sound of the faintest whisper
    can turn this heart back to Thee.
    Why don't I listen as once I did
    for the only sound that gives me life?
    Why do I try to shout so loud
    that I hear only of my doubt and strife?
    What makes me afraid to trust in You?
    Am I really so scared of what others might say?
    Afraid to live the truth I know,
    at least when it means I can't choose the way.
    Somehow this fearful, prideful heart
    has chosen too often the easy way out.
    Surrender might be the best choice in the end
    but easy it's not, especially now.
    Help me to see past today, to the end.
    Lord, help me to listen for Your voice once again.
     




Wednesday, 10 June 2009

  • I don't usually write about what fills our days around here, so I thought I would ...at least, I have tidbits.  One thing of interest lately has been our discovery that the Newport Plum tree we had purchased last year is fruiting.  We were told it was just a flowering tree when we picked it out, which was what we wanted since having fruit all over the yard wasn't really something we wanted to deal with.  The good news, though, is that it seems the fruit will be edible, so it should be fun to see what it's like.
    We have also planted some vegetables in a *small* garden area in our backyard.  We took the path of least resistance and just put seeds in the ground.  A few weeks ago, we planted green beans, onions, corn, beets, and 3 or 4 tomato varieties.  Despite cold weather (no frost though), our plants are showing progress...particularly the beans and beets.  This is exciting for me, since in the past we have tried these two, but always started them indoors in starter trays and they just never survived long enough to be put in the ground.  The corn and tomatoes are growing, too.  I'm not very hopeful for the corn, since I have heard it is not an easy thing to grow, but we did try planting it in clusters this year, which is supposed to aid in pollination, so we'll see.  The tomatoes seem to grow well no matter what we do to them (last year we had thought our plants were destroyed at one point because we got torrents of rain right after we planted them and the plants literally disappeared, but they came back)...this year I think we will need to focus on consistent watering, though, so they don't split.  We also have horseradish, garlic, lemon-basil and dill growing in what has sort of become our "perennial" area around our small garden pond.  I think these are the best because they just grow with little to no effort...though, honestly, it has been a few years since we have taken advantage of our horseradish.  We also have a rosebush that is covered in buds, which is a relief since it only got about 2 or 3 flowers all of last year.  In all, this is really the first year our yard has been at all "put-together", since it has been subject to all of the remodeling and such that has gone on the last 7 years, and as much as I look forward to hopefully having a larger yard with more potential in the near future, it is nice to be able to enjoy what we have now.
    As for day-to-day life, I can honestly say not much happens.  I do a lot of sitting.  My kids do a lot of playing and (too much) tv watching.  I usually manage to get the most basic chores done, but not much else.  My stomach seems to be settling slightly, so I am hopeful for more productive days in the coming weeks.  We are also planning on purchasing a small kiddie-pool for (hopefully) a low-maintenance, enjoyable activity for once the weather actually warms up.  Nathanael is in a "tiny-tots fun and fitness" class once a week, and Caedmon will be starting t-ball next week.  I have been looking into signing Bethany up for gymnastics or dance classes, it is just hard to swallow the expense at the moment...perhaps I will find a good deal if I keep searching.
    We are not really planning on any "vacations" this year, so as a less expensive, but fun alternative, we are planning to go to Six Flags Great America on Friday this week.  My energy levels are not great at the moment, but usually being outside helps, so I am hoping that a day at an amusement park will be doable.  There seem to be a lot of rides that all of the kids can go on, and if it's warm enough, there is a waterpark, which I know would thrill them.  Plus, it is only an hour away, so there is no need to stay overnight and we can pack a lunch instead of paying the absolutely crazy prices they charge for food.
    Tim is still doing what he can to grow the businesses.  We have occasional sales on Etsy, and Tim is working on making a sofa for my parents, which is a completely new venture for him, but one he thinks he would like to add to his offerings.  He is also doing pretty much everything else around here, which makes his free time pretty non-existent.  He even gets up when the kids wake up in the middle of the night, interrupting the already scant 6 hours of sleep he usually ends up trying for.   I honestly don't know what I would do without him.
    The prospect of selling our house seems to have fizzled.  The potential buyer, when we last spoke to her, was trying to find financing, since the bank wouldn't approve her for enough for the house.  That was 3 or 4 weeks ago, and our phone calls since then to check on any progress have not been returned.  Oh well.

    I guess that's enough of an update for now.  I suppose I should try to accomplish something before noon...though that may only amount to starting laundry...

Thursday, 04 June 2009

  • Since my tummy doesn't really allow much activity for an hour or so after breakfast, I thought I would write on here. But I don't know what to write.  I guess it will be a random thoughts type of day. 

    * I have my first OB appointment this afternoon.  Tim worked extra hours earlier this week so he could leave early today to go with me.  Do you know he has not missed a single OB appointment during any of my pregnancies?  He has always found babysitters and adjusted his work schedule or taken vacation time to be able to go.  That makes me feel blessed. 

    * Caedmon has really gotten the hang of reading.  We were sitting in the car while Tim ran into Wal-Mart the other day and Caedmon said "p-h-a-r-m-a-c-y....that spells pharmacy".  Sometimes he remembers words from commercials he's seen, so I asked him how he knew what the word is, and he said he just figured it out.  I can't begin to describe how relieving this is when I think about officially starting homeschooling in the fall.

    * Bethany is a handful.  But she is also the most affectionate of my kids.  She will randomly give me huge hugs and tell me she loves me.  I would say she is such a girl, except she uses her doll's baby bottle as a screwdriver...so funny.

    * Nathanael is almost two and he acts his age.  There is some evidence that he has perhaps been babied a bit too much, so efforts are being made to correct that.  He is, however, still really cute and he has this uncanny ability to silently get his way.  Like when shopping, he will just stand up in the seat of the cart (even if he has been buckled), and somehow find his way into my arms.  I really can't explain it since it almost always happens without me even really being aware of it until I wonder why I am having a hard time pushing the cart and I realize I only have one hand free.

    So, no real news, I guess.  Maybe I will be successful in getting the vacuuming done this afternoon, and then I will feel productive.  Yes, that is all it takes these days...




loribruehle

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    • Name: Lori
    • Country: United States
    • State: Wisconsin
    • Birthday: 3/28/1979
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 4/29/2005

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About Me

  • I am married to a wonderful man, Tim; have three children...Caedmon, Bethany and Nathanael; and spend most days with dishes, laundry, and books (mostly the a,b,c...1,2,3...red, blue, green variety).

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